Beyond the Transition: Your Sacred Initiation into the New You

How do I shift into a new version of me that is tangible and sustainable?

People say ‘you’re going through a midlife transition’ and when I hear that, it sounds quite ‘matter of fact’. Nothing new to see here, just get on with it! We’re told, it’s a natural part of being a woman, your body is changing, the option of bearing children is no longer on the table and you are simply adjusting to the aging process, and that’s that.

Well for me it’s not that’s that. It’s the beginning of an amazing journey, an identity shift, a complete shift, on all levels, mental, emotional, physical, energetic, and it is work that can be profound, intense, beautiful, sometimes scary and deep.  An opportunity where we get to craft or re-write our story about who we are and who we want to be from this time forth.

How magical a moment for us to embrace this time as an opening of choosing yourself again, differently this time. What a blessing, an opening into a re-birth of who we are. And yet, So what? What does this all mean, in practical terms?

Well for me it meant a re-shifting of everything I knew, a complete change in how to see, live, eat and breathe in this world. I can’t say I welcomed this identity shift with open arms and it certainly wasn’t all fairytales and lolly-pops.

To be honest, I found myself dragging myself around in a job that I once loved with no spark, devoid of any motivation. There were days when I could hardly get myself out of bed sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks, not understanding why, to the point of ringing up my daughter telling her to come and get me. I just need help. This just wasn’t like my usual self, what I used to love in life was no longer doing it for me.

Finally, something inside of me clicked and I was able to gather enough focus in my brain to put two and two together, realising I am peri-menopausal and this is impacting me completely.  What used to fire me up and get going was no longer working, I was not the ‘Old Me’ any more, but still didn’t know who the ‘New Me’ was. It was time! Time to change, my identity shift began.

The definition of change is: ‘to make or become different, to do, use, or get one thing in place of another, or, replace (something) with something else, especially something of the same kind that is new or better; substitute one thing for (another).

Now change can be hard, full stop, even if we want it or not. Why? Because we're required to do something differently, to see ourselves differently – that’s why it’s the perfect space for growth. When shifting our identity we can encounter distress or discomfort, our old stories pop up, most of which are self-limiting. That's when we can talk ourselves out of doing something because we assume we cannot handle how we might feel by stepping into the unknown about ourselves. However, it is these exact moments that are the key to activating and embedding the new you in your world.  You need to lean in.

How do you lean into achieving tangible and sustainable change?  It’s critical that we do the inner work, gain clarity and understanding of the new you that is emerging and there comes a time when all of your inner work requires you shift focus to ‘how does this express itself in the world. Doing this enables you to fully embody the changes you desire. This change demands of you to;

• Understand the what and the why change is required to continue moving forward and feeling fulfilled with your life
• Identify what is the root cause of your resistance to the change you are seeking or facing
• Navigate the change with simple activities, helping grow your confidence in making positive choices and decisions
• Be prepared and ready to manage any internal or external changes that present themselves to you in your life

The impact of change comes in waves and the best way I have found to surf these waves with grace and ease is to create structure for yourself that expands your capacity to be grounded, holding space for yourself, building safety in uncertainty of change. Allowing you to experiment with the new you, dip your toes in water , wade in to your needs, up to your belly and when ready, fully dive into sea, emerging refresh, reinvigorated, renewed and reconnected to the real you. A resurrection, a remembering of your true nature.

The structures I use are what I call the Four Keys of Change - Accept, Desire, Empower, Act. The critical components to embedding your midlife transition state into real-time day to day living.

Accept – unpacking your ability to understand the endings, loss and gains of change, allowing feelings to be and allow flow

Desire – growing your motivation, light for fire and drive for change

Empower – building your confidence and grounding self to move differently in the world

Act – opening your personal toolkit of simple everyday activities, moving your change from conceptual to tangible aligned actions, provides sustainable change in your everyday life.

Come join me in activity these keys for yourself, guiding you out of a Midlife Crisis and into your Sacred Initiation of remembering and rebirth the true you.

This is what I do!

Kim xxx